Category: Blog

This world offers numerous avenues of joy, satisfaction, praise, and exhilaration; all subjects we seek and desire, but tempt us on the lines of our faith. These facets of life are an obvious beauty of living, so naturally we are motivated by them and therefore crave them. Is there really anything wrong with that?

How do you nourish your mind?

Just like any food we eat, it depends on its nutrients and where it was produced. Our livelihood falls in the same thought process. What grows our happiness? What nourishes it? How do we keep it fresh? Our body works off the things we feed it; similarly, our mind works off the information we teach it.

So, as long as the joy and comfort we are motivated by are produced through the pages of God’s word, then no, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. But if not, then we are simply allowing ourselves to feed off the deception of the world, the toxins of our sin, and the lies of the enemy. If we consume those interests than we slowly warp into them ourselves. We start to live by them, mimic them, and consequently suspire them. And before we know it, we are addicted to the lust we immediately gained.

“It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” – Matthew 4:4

Are you more engaged with creation than the Creator?

We are not designed to work solely off the craftiness of this world. It is filled with weak and temporary assurance that coats itself with blandishment to lure us in. The harsh truth is once we’ve accepted that, the addiction begins to flourish. Once we’ve tasted the sly, emotional high, it’s harder for us to say no. And once we’ve participated in one act of deception, we fall into the lie that we cannot be forgiven. It’s a downhill spiral that doesn’t have an end. It’s an addiction of false happiness that feeds off our own lack of faith.

But we learn in Matthew that Jesus has a cure for this enslavement. It is a Truth that we are not in fact bound by the world’s intention to chain us, to watch us fall, to hold us down- as much as it tries. Instead, what we see is Jesus saying that the words and promises of God are stronger and greater than food itself.

He willingly and without hesitation tells the enemy that his trickery won’t work against His faith in His Lord, and that His nourishment is enough.

God is Enough to Sustain You

This aligns our command to know and study God’s Word. It is a clear act of guidance to seek after His character and His power in our daily lives, in every single situation. It means in times of legitimate starvation, bankruptcy, grief, abuse, and depression, our God is enough to sustain us. He is enough to withstand those worldly circumstances, and hope in Him is enough to get you through. He offers us an end goal; a way out. He promises us a new life with Him in heaven, and freedom from our sin now.

His Word is the sword with which we fight through this life with, and the bread we nourish our heart, mind, and soul. His guidance is the foundation to our acts and decisions; and His love for our motivation.

These are the avenues we should walk, and these are the interests we should crave. Through God, our joy, satisfaction, praise, and exhilaration are defined by the good and perfect works of our Savior, rather than the lust our enemy offers. Let us take on this life with His Word as our fortress and let it cultivate a Christ-like following of pursuing His people and His kingdom. That is what we are called to do, and it is only His Word that supplies the power.

I couldn’t breathe. My chest felt tight. I could feel the anxiety crawling up my throat, leaving room for small, inconsistent breaths. Why? There was no reason. At all. This had been going on for months, although it seemed longer at times. This was a battle I could never win. Every swing would exhaust me. I’d take one step forward and fall two steps behind. I felt utterly pathetic. My strength gave out eventually. Too weak to fight, I got to the point where I gave my peace away. But that was the problem.

I was trying to fight a battle that had already been won — striving towards a victory I already had through Jesus Christ. I was allowing the enemy to exhaust me … until I stopped fighting. Yes, you read that right. I realized that fighting our battles isn’t really about fighting them at all, but about us stepping out of the way and allowing God to fight them for us — to lead us to the victory we possess through Him.

Your Giant Has Already Been Defeated

That anxiety, or whatever giant stands in front of you, was nailed to the cross and covered by His blood. Its been defeated and taken to the grave. That tomb isn’t empty but the tomb of our resurrected King is. It’s through the blood of Jesus Christ that we have victory over death itself and whatever we may face through our walk with God.

As we look across the battlefield, we may not see the victory. We may even look down at our wounds and feel just the opposite, but “In the Messiah, in Christ, God leads us from place to place in one perpetual victory parade” (2 Corinthians 2:14). Whether hell or high water, mountain top or valley, desert or wilderness, God will lead us to victory. It’s just a matter of when not if. Sometimes that’s the hardest part, too. Waiting. Scanning the horizon for rays of sunshine that never seem to come. The more you walk, the more weary you become. I get it. I’ve been there. I’ve been reduced to nothing but a heap of scattered pieces, forgotten and discarded, many times over. I’ve held my mutilated heart in my hands, trying to hold it together, weeping over the pain and mess that lye in front of me.

Drinking From the Well

For every wound I’ve received in battle, I’ve felt the healing touch of our God. For every tear I’ve shed over what was lost, I’ve felt His inexpressible joy. As difficult and painful as it was, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I’d willingly run through it all over again. Why? Because, sometimes you have to be disabled from your weaknesses so that you can learn how to lean into God’s strength. I had to go thirsty before I understood that I needed a drink from The Well.

I walked around as a victim and justified the issues I dealt with by my past. “I was treated that way so that’s why I react this way,” I’d say, trying to convince myself that my insecurities were okay to carry. But I was never supposed to carry that baggage in the first place.

Every time I went back to my past, I’d unknowingly pick up another load and increase the weight that dragged behind me. No wonder I was weary. The past is meant to teach us how to live differently in the present. I realized that I didn’t have to live as a victim to my circumstances, and you don’t have to either.

You don’t have to be imprisoned by the feeling of anxiety.

You don’t have to be shackled to the chains of depression.

You don’t have to walk in oppression from an addiction.

You don’t have to allow the lies of the enemy to invade your mind and disrupt your peace.

You have authority. You have a weapon and it’s the name of Jesus, “ … at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth” (Philippians 2:10). NOTHING has power over the name of Jesus. Not depression, not anxiety, not a health issue or a storm you’re facing, nothing. The simple whisper of His name causes the depths of hell to tremble.

Your Victory is in Christ

Don’t misunderstand what I’m saying, the above issues are all real, but they aren’t more powerful than your God. Choosing to look them in the eyes and declare the victory you have through Christ is simply acknowledging that your God is bigger. It’s the moment we begin to magnify anything other than the name of Jesus that we start to bow to the very things that should be trampled beneath our feet. If the enemy can make us forget who sits on the throne, we’ll live defeated — overcome by what Jesus overcame. See, the enemy is smart. If he can distract and exhaust us with unnecessary battles (like he did to me), we pose no threat to his kingdom.

He’s not afraid of weary warriors, or wounded ones for that matter. He’s afraid of a warrior that wields their weapon of authority — the word of God “For the word of God is living and active and full of power [making it operative, energizing, and effective]. It is sharper than any two-edged sword,” (Hebrews 4:12).

When the enemy hurls his thoughts of defeat, discouragement and disqualification at us, we can take the sword of the Spirit, the word of God, and cut straight through the enemy’s deception.

We can live as victors, shouting down the lies of the enemy with God’s truth.

When the enemy says you’re unloved and not good enough, smile triumphantly and speak Isaiah 43:4 over yourself, “you are precious in My sight, you are honored and I love you, I will give other men in return for you and other peoples in exchange for your life.”

When you feel small compared to the size of the battle, know that just like Jeremiah, “‘They will fight against you, but they will not [ultimately] prevail over you, for I am with you [always] to protect you and deliver you,’ says the Lord” (Jeremiah 1:19). He sees you. He is with you. He is fighting for you.

So, soldier, take a deep breath. Lift your head. Take your eyes off of the storm and set them on the Savior. He’ll lead you and guide you. If you need a battle cry, listen to “I Am No Victim” by Kristene DiMarco, it’ll encourage you as you make your way to the front lines. With your sword in hand and God at your side, keep walking. It’s only a matter of time before you step foot into your victory.

Loving Yourself: Post-Breakup

I left for three months to New York for a summer job. When I got back home, I knew my three year relationship was over. I gave it my last, desperate attempt to try and make things work, but deep down I knew there was no salvaging all of the destructive behavior he had displayed throughout our relationship. He was apart of my comfort zone and I was too afraid to let go. The moment I found out he betrayed me while I was gone, my world felt like it was crashing in all around me. I had devoted all my time, energy and love into this one person, and he crushed me with no remorse. What was I supposed to do and how was I ever going to pick up the pieces?

Learning to love yourself is an on-going lesson everyone seems to learn at different points in our lives. It took my heart being broken for me to get on this path of loving myself. When in a relationship, we tend to pour everything into the other person which can often lead to putting the love we have for ourselves on the back burner. So, what do we do when that person betrays us? How do we learn to love ourselves post breakup? God calls us to love which means He has called us to love ourselves, too! There is no love apart from God. Choosing to turn to God was my first step in loving myself.

Choosing God.

What does it mean to choose God? Instead of bottling up my emotions or trying to get through this breakup by myself, I turned to prayer, worship and the Word. I chose to pursue my relationship with God once again. Just like putting my love for myself on the back burner during my toxic relationship, I put my love for God back there as well.

Prayer – When they say there is power in prayer, they are not kidding. As soon as I surrendered my broken heart to Jesus, I started feeling and seeing change almost immediately. The sense of peace that comes through talking with our Savior, one on one, is overwhelming. Communication is needed for any healthy relationship and the same rules apply to our relationship with Christ.

Worship – Oh, I could go on and on about the power of worship. Connecting with God but also connecting with the congregation is the greatest joy. I ran towards the Truth and in turn learned how to love myself through loving and worshipping Christ. Worship is our personal time with the Lord to exalt His name above all.

The Bible – There is no true connection to our God without being connected in His word. We were given the ultimate resource to connect and get to know Jesus and in turn get to know ourselves. The wisdom, peace and power throughout the Bible has visible affects in our everyday lives once we choose God.

Psalm 107:28-30 “Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and he delivered them from their distress. He made the storm be still, and the waves of the sea were hushed. Then they were glad that the waters were quiet, and he brought them to their desired haven”.

Choosing Myself.

What does it mean to choose myself? Instead of chasing worldly things and letting the negativity invade, I chose growth and to better myself in Christ. I had significantly declined emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually during my relationship. I decided to focus on changing these things and becoming a new person. We need to take care of ourselves, no matter the circumstances and especially so after heartbreak. So, I started clean eating and working out which has given great results and has positively affected my mental and emotional health as well. I surrounded myself with positivity and positive people who are encouraging me in my walk with the Lord and my journey of loving myself. I stepped outside of my comfort zone and joined a Christian organization on campus and am slowly getting involved with this as well. This is just the beginning of my journey. Choosing God has led to choosing myself and choosing life. Who knew my heartbreak would turn around and be my redemption? God knew. He always does.

In this video, Jeff and Alyssa Bethke talk openly about past breakups and how to handle them in a God honoring way.

I have been posting a lot recently about Bible journaling. Instagram stories, posts, blogs posts, you name it. This morning I posted one of my newest designs to Instagram and a friend simply responded with “…but how?” My friend’s response got me thinking about how one can start their own journaling in their Bible. Forget all those long videos, Instagram pages and long ‘how to’s’. Follow this guide and you will be on your way to creating a vibrant and creative journal in your Bible in no time.

Bible journaling is whatever you want it to be

For me, Bible journaling began by simply highlighting scripture in my Bible and writing my thoughts next to the passage. In fact, I did this for a number of years before it evolved into hand lettering my margins. About 6 short months ago I busted out the big guns… paints!

Before I get stuck into some ‘how to’s’ that I have found helpful over the last few months, it is important to remember that Bible journaling is whatever you want it to be. Paints, colored pencils, writing sermon notes in the margins, stickers, ball point pens, whatever! As long as you are having fun and connecting with God through the process, then keep doing that. That being said, if you want to start creating things like my own example here, read on!

How the heck do they do that?!

All you need to start is a Bible and a pen. That’s it! You don’t even need a specific journaling Bible, however the extra space in the margins is much appreciated, especially if you are someone like me who likes creating and drawing in your bible but not covering up the words.

Some extra materials you might like to use are colored pencils, stickers, paint and stamps. You can even print off images you like and use those as DIY stickers as well. A side note to this: I have recently realized Illustrated Faith has stamps for just about everything! Brush stroke effects, crosses, letters, numbers and so many darling themes and kits. If you find painting to be the super intimidating part of journaling then worry not. So many of the beautiful pages you see online are created with these stamps and kits or similar products. Using them can mean you won’t have to draw a single thing. Your local $2 store should also have many basic supplies for super cheap such as alphabet stickers, washi tape, die cut scrap-booking materials, paints, etc. There are links below to some of my fave resources for beginners. You’re welcome!

Look for inspiration but don’t get stuck on Pinterest

As someone who is creative but not a really a painter or an artist, I was stumped with where to start. Everything looked so beautiful and simple but oh so complicated at the same time. If this is you, Pinterest and Instagram is full of examples you can try. Save images that have elements of things you like; the color, the paint effect, how they have used stickers or their page layout. Use these ideas in creating your first page but don’t get stuck looking there. The reason I say this is it can be tempting to compare your work to that of others online and feel disheartened that yours is not as good. I also got stuck in a place recently where I only wanted to create something so I could post it on Instagram, and let me tell you friends, that stole the joy and worship that comes when I Bible journal. If you find yourself getting discouraged, log off. Blast some worship music and just create the things your heart wants to. This can be a little terrifying, and you might use way too much paint or make some spelling mistakes or cover the whole page in alpha stickers, but hopefully you will find the joy that comes with being creative for an audience of One!

Okay, but what about some concrete steps I can follow?

This is the hardest part about this whole post, because as you may have gathered by now, there is no right or wrong way to journal…but here we go!

1. Find the main thing that you are inspired by/want to create?
   Did you just read a passage of scripture that you loved, or heard song lyrics you want to create in your Bible? Do you feel inspired right now to create something to do with Fall colors? or is there something God is telling you that you want to journal about?
2. If you want to, draw some ideas on paper
   In the beginning I used to do this as it took the pressure off putting something permanent down on a page you can’t rip out. #nopressure
3. Start with a medium (if you would like)

If I am using paint, this always goes down first. You might like to prime your page with a medium like gesso, which helps your bible page cope with the paint and ink being used. I have only just started doing this in the last week and while I like it I wouldn’t say it is necessary. I do like having it on hand if I think I will go to town with the paint (and I have pages in my bible that really could have benefitted from its use) but using it is up to you.

4. Create
   Gather supplies that you would like to use or that relate to what you want to journal. In a recent entry of mine I wanted to use autumn colors since I am counting down the days until Fall is here in Australia. In another instance, I was feeling really encouraged by the words in Matthew 6:26 so I grabbed all my bird stickers and set about creating a cute little bird scene in my bible.
5. Journal/write
   As I have a background in graphic design/hand lettering. almost all my Bible journaling entries involve hand lettering as the main focus. I don’t often journal my thoughts alongside the artwork. Keep this in mind if you want to include personal thoughts alongside your art and make sure to leave a space where you can fit them in. Or you can do this really cool thing with prayer cards!

I’m ready. Gimme all the resources!

This has been the most exciting part of writing this post and I really hope you find some goodies in here that inspire you. Most of what I have listed comes from Illustrated Faith but any craft store will have a trove of treasures you can use. I’ve also listed a few YouTube channels that have really good process videos and instructions on the different types of materials out there in the bible journaling world.

Helpful Youtube Videos
+ Bible Journaling for Beginners | Hello Jillsky
+ Bible Journal with NO DRAWING Whatsoever | Hello Jillsky
+ Stamping 101 | Illustrated Faith
+ Gesso Hints and Tips | Southern Couture
+ A Simple Way to Use Acrylic Paint | Southern Couture

A Time to Heal

Are you feeling weighed down emotionally, mentally, or spiritually? Have you been struggling with feelings of depression, loneliness, grief, insecurity, or anxiety? Or are there heartaches and failures you may have tried to ignore, but are now too heavy to bear? It may be time to let yourself heal inwardly, and get spiritual and emotional refreshment. With a fresh year ahead, it is a great time to focus on renewing your mind and soul.

Christians are not exempt from depression, anxiety, and other psychological conditions. Sadly, although numerous studies have shown that rates of depression and anxiety among Christians are about the same as among non-Christians, the subject has remained largely unnoticed among evangelical and mainline Protestant circles. Many hold on to unrealistic expectations, or are too ashamed to admit what they are going through. Stigma and social pressure continue to hinder so many believers from finding the help and restoration they sorely need.

If you are going through intense emotional or mental struggles, know that you are certainly not alone. People from all walks of life have battled these giants all throughout history. In the Bible, many heroes of the faith also went through these turbulent periods in their lives. King David was particularly honest about his many feelings of despair, loneliness, and fear throughout the Psalms. When Job suffered the tremendous heartaches of losing his children, possessions, and even his health, he uttered, “And now my life ebbs away; days of suffering grip me. Night pierces my bones; my gnawing pains never rest.” (Job 30:16-17)

Get close to the Healer of broken hearts

Jesus Christ Himself experienced grief and anguish before the Crucifixion, so He knows what you are going through. He has a special invitation to His children: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” (Matthew 11:28) God knows you cannot bear these feelings alone. He wants to heal your spirit and restore your soul.

Seek professional help

If you have been going through intense emotional and mental ailments for an extended period of time, it is wise to consult with a medical professional. Some causes of depression and mental ailments are hormonal in nature, or are direct or indirect results of other physical disorders. A licensed professional can assist in figuring out the underlying cause and guide you towards the proper path to healing.

Connect with trusted loved ones

Many who go through psychological struggles distance themselves from family members, friends, or even spiritual advisers. However, we are designed by God to be social beings. Aside from the help you can get from the Lord and from medical professionals, valuable assistance and companionship may also come from your trusted circle. Maybe you even have relatives or peers who are going through similar situations, and you can benefit from the mutual understanding. Don’t got at it alone! Proverbs 17:17 reminds us, “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”

Get moving

Different forms of physical activity have been scientifically shown to help with depression and anxiety. Instead of sitting at home and wallowing in your feelings, get up and get active. Take a walk, hike, run, bike around the neighborhood, join a sports club, swim, or take your dog to the park. Even tasks such as cleaning the garage, taking up small repair tasks around home, or gardening can help refocus your mind and lift your spirits. Moderate physical activity releases endorphins and other brain chemicals in the body that improve your mood and help with your overall sense of well-being. Consult your physician about an exercise program that can improve your overall health.

These are just some basic steps you can take towards taking back control of your mind and emotions. It is time to start healing, and God is ready for you to cast your cares on Him. Will you let Him take over today and guide you to complete restoration?

Check out this amazing worship song to help you find peace in the worries and hardships you face in this life.

When I first began blogging I noticed a shift in my reading when I was in the Word. I was actively searching for messages I could write about that would catch people’s attention. I was looking deeper into my message than the message God was giving to me. I realized I was doing the right thing by being in the Word, but my intentions were completely off.

Another example of doing the right action for the wrong reason is the deeds we do. Have you ever done a good deed and wanted to tell someone about it? You thought, “well, I don’t want to toot my own horn, but they should know how great of a person I really am.” You mentioned it, you got the praise for it, but was it really a genuine deed? Matthew 6:1-2 states “Watch out! Don’t do your good deeds publicly, to be admired by others, for you will lose the reward from your Father in heaven. When you give to someone in need, don’t do as the hypocrites do—blowing trumpets in the synagogues and streets to call attention to their acts of charity! I tell you the truth, they have received all the reward they will ever get.” God again and again tells us that He sees everything we do, and that we will gain no reward by boasting about it to others.

When I think of those who work out of love, I think of my own mother. There are stories I hear about her that she would never in a million years tell me. My moms best friend told me a story about how my mom went to the store and was so tired from her chemo treatment that she sat down on a bench. Instead of wallowing in her own pain, she noticed a lonely woman next to her. Turns out this woman was stuck at the store and my mom gave her a ride to the place she needed to get to. Knowing my mom, she would have never mentioned that she was sick because all of her focus was on this woman.

My mom taught me so much about the importance of genuine giving and the importance of keeping your deeds to yourself. Whether that was sitting in a car with strangers as we gave them rides (she did this often!), or visiting those who were lonely, she made a huge impact in my life, and those around her. She made others her motive instead of placing her own self on a pedestal.

What are you doing today that you are doing for the wrong reason? How can you go about changing this? Remind yourself of Matthew 22:37-40 as it states, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself. The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.”

It’s important to re-evaluate your life and your motives. Whether it’s what you do on social media, or your actions towards others, it’s rewarding to take a step back and ask yourself why you are doing what you are doing. If it’s not all for our Heavenly Father, then begin praying about how you can make the right changes in your life today to be diverted in the right direction.

Have you mastered living contently in the in-between moments of life? Or are you waiting for every piece of your life to come together first before you start living? Either way, if you have learned to live your life with appreciation and content with what you have been given, I applaud you. For those of you, who are waiting for the “next big thing” before you start living, ask yourself this question. What if that thing you are waiting for never comes, what are you then to do?

“What God uses to shape us often lies in the in-between. It’s the uncertain times or roadblocks and obstacles which forces us to depend on God wholeheartedly, it forces us to become better people. Many of us find ourselves living somewhere in the in-between. Learning to live in this tension, to be content in these moments of waiting, may be our greatest struggle and our greatest opportunity to grow.” – Jeff Goin

Trial of Waiting

I asked myself the same question only to find out that, I too have been waiting for the “next big thing” and that I have not been living my life to the best of my ability. Waiting on the Lord must be one of the most difficult things I have had to do but it has also been the most rewarding. I believe God uses waiting to teach us, mold us and equip us with tools needed to whether the storms of life. The most difficult part about going through the trial of waiting is learning to be content in your current situation. It also teaches you that the most important thing is having an in-depth relationship with God.

In the Bible, we are told about Abraham, and it is safe to say that he lived a full and inspiring life. He is rightly called the “Father of faith”. Abraham obeyed the Lord without question, and he believed the covenant God made with him. He also believed in God’s provision for him in time and eternity, and the promise of the Son whom God would give him miraculously.

When We Feel Discouraged

Our Christian faith today should stand on the same foundation. However, I believe many of us give up living long before we die. We become frustrated and defeated because our needs, wants, expectations and demands are not immediately met when we believe in Christ. We become impatient and want to quit. Are you discouraged because the achievement of your goal seems far away? Be careful not to take matters into your own hand during your time of waiting by helping God get his plan into action. Pushing God’s time table ahead only leads to disaster and pain. Also, do not conclude that what you are waiting for is never going to happen. This shows that you truly do not know who God is and you are of little faith.

Instead take courage from the heroes of Faith like Abraham who lived and died without seeing the fruit of his faith on earth and yet continued to believe. You might be in the middle of your “season of waiting” asking what God is doing. Maybe you find yourself regretting some of the decisions you made in the past, thinking your life is moving towards nothing. Keep in mind that every wilderness that God takes us through leads to a promise land. Take a minute and ask yourself these questions. How is your relationship with God? Are you in complete alignment with God?

To be honest, when I asked myself these questions, I found out that I have allowed my problems to be bigger than God. I dwelled on all the things that were not right in my life and the more I did, the more I felt apart from God. The truth is one of the greatest investments we can make in our lives is fostering a strong relationship with God. When we feel the pressures of the world pulling us away from hearing from God. We must take a step back to refocus and realign ourselves back with our creator.

4 ways to reconnect and strengthen our relationship with God

Dedicating or Time to Him

he bible has answers to any questions we may have about our pain and struggles. He uses his word to teach us and comfort us. It reassures us that whatever we might be going through is all part of God’s plan for our lives.

Prayer is Key

Prayer moves mountain. Having a praying life is so important that it was mentioned 250 times in the bible. Daily communication with God is key in rejuvenating our relationship with him. It gives us an opportunity to give God control of all aspects of our lives and to trust his promises for our life. Fasting and praying provides a platform to be transparent before God, it gives us the opportunity to confess our sins and seek help in overcoming any strongholds in our lives. Prayer is an act of worship that connects us with God’s heart. James 5:13 “Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray, Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise”. Romans 12:12 “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.

A Heart of Gratitude

Having a thankful heart in whatever situation is our way of showing appreciation to God “give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his love endures forever” Chronicles 16:34. Our goal is to make sure his goodness and loving kindness is recognized daily “I will praise you, O Lord, with all my heart; I will tell you of your wonders” – Psalm 9:1

Living with Purpose

When we realize that we were not put on earth to seek our own fulfillment or our own glory. We are not here to indulge in our own desires instead we are here to please and to glorify his holy name. The moment we acknowledge that we are brought here on earth to glorify God; we can begin to determine the meaning of life that God has designed for us specifically.

I was reminded that His love will comfort me. With this affirmation I was able to embrace my season of waiting and accepted all that life had to offer. I realized it gave my life meaning, a heart of gratitude, peace that surpasses all understanding and purpose. I learned that during my season of waiting were the times I have done the most growing in all areas of my life. My season of waiting challenged me, instilled discipline in me, helped me recognize my strengths and weakness, helped me practice patience, developed my character, taught me how to depend on God wholeheartedly and most of all strengthened my relationship with God.

During this holiday season, you may have heard these familiar lyrics several times already, but perhaps it is time to really take the words to heart and understand what the songwriter was talking about in this Christmas classic. The song talks about a person’s longing to live in a world where there are no more interpersonal conflicts, and individuals are able to set aside differences for the purpose of understanding and unity.

The song is set against the backdrop of an adult who harks back to childhood and remembers the toys and other little pleasures that seemed important back then. The desire for peace and harmony with one’s sphere of influence certainly strikes a familiar chord with anyone who listens to My Grown-Up Christmas List.

As 2017 is about to close and 2018 stands ready to be welcomed, it may also be time to look back and reflect on our relationships with family members, loved ones, friends, colleagues, neighbors and others we come into contact with on a regular basis. Perhaps there were fractures, misunderstandings, or differences that occurred over the last few months or even years. These broken connections need to be restored and healed by the grace of God.

Was there someone who wronged you or treated you unfairly in the past, and you have not had the opportunity to hash things out or make things right? As believers in Christ, we are commanded to forgive those who have committed faults against us, whether intentionally or unknowingly. Jesus Christ Himself says in Matthew 6:14-15, “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

Our sins were forgiven by God, eternally wiped away and forgotten by Him when we received His free gift of salvation through His Son. Knowing this, we exhibit Christlikeness and extend God’s love by also choosing to forgive people who have wronged us, no matter how difficult it may be. This is especially important to remember in our dealings with fellow believers in the body of Christ. According to the Apostle Paul, we should “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” – Colossians 3:13

With the New Year approaching, wouldn’t it be more blessed to let go of the grudges and the hurts rather than carrying them over to 2018? Unresolved anger, bitterness, and grudges weigh heavily on your mind, soul, and spirit. There have been numerous scientific and medical studies showing the link between lowered immunity and increased susceptibility to various illnesses when someone is harboring bitter or negative feelings towards others. One particular example is a 15-year study conducted by Professor Carsten Wrosch of Montreal’s Concordia University Department of Psychology, and a long-time member of the Centre for Research in Human Development.

According to Wrosch, “Persistent bitterness may result in global feelings of anger and hostility that, when strong enough, could affect a person’s physical health.” Wrosch’s findings showed that harboring bitterness for an extended period of time “may forecast patterns of biological dysregulation (a physiological impairment that can affect metabolism, immune response or organ function) and physical disease.”

Forgiving others is good for your overall health and well-being, and also shows that you are maturing in your walk with the Lord and increasing in Christlikeness. Don’t wait until longstanding feelings of anger, hostility, and suspicion wreak havoc on your health. Take time to ask for the Lord’s help in restoring those broken relationships and forgiving others as exemplified by Jesus Himself. There is power in forgiveness, and it will start your New Year in the best way possible!

If dating is so wonderful, why does it hurt so much? I call the hurt you get from dating “hurtful disappointments”. In my experience dating has only led to disappointment and major anxiety than to my marriage partner. There are so many reasons why people date and that used to be my reasons also; loneliness, to find a marriage partner, to feel wanted, to develop social skills and emotional health, to prepare for marriage, to relate to the opposite sex and because the world says it’s good to date. No matter what everybody had to say about dating, all I encountered were “hurtful disappointments”. I knew deep down God did not create our hearts to bond and break repeatedly.

It was about 3 years ago when I read a book by Dr. Don Raunikair called “Choosing God’s best: wisdom for lifelong romance”. It definitely impacted my life in a very positive way and I decided to implement some of his teachings to my life. I will shed light on some of the topics he discussed that stood out the most to me.

Difference between Dating and Courtship

He talked about the difference between dating and courtship. He explains that the principles of courtship are God-centered and biblically based. Courtship is a biblical process of finding and choosing a mate while glorifying God, honoring and respecting each other. Dating, on the other hand, is the world’s alternative to courtship. Its principles are man-centered and culturally determined. He also talked about “counterfeit oneness” which to me was very enlightening and informative. He explains that when God designed the desire for intimacy (the strongest, most intimate of all human relationships) in other words, God’s creative work in Adam was not complete until he made Eve.

The goal was oneness. However, many people are trying to find this fulfillment outside of marriage. When this happens, the oneness they create is counterfeit- something that looks like the real thing until you hold it up to God’s light and see it for the weak, hollow, hopeless relationship it really is.

Counterfeit Oneness

He states that dating couples often develop a counterfeit oneness that feels like marriage but lacks commitment and responsibility.

Our souls look the same way after we’ve glued ourselves to other people physically, emotionally, and/or spiritually outside of marriage. Part of that person is still with us, “getting over” him or her is nearly impossible. Our thoughts and emotions are constantly being drawn back to the past so that sometimes we’re not fully in the present.

He takes us further in explaining what “counterfeit physical oneness” is. This occurs when those who have not healed from broken relationships carry forever memories and reminders of past sexual partners. When we become sexually involved with others we become one with them, and we become one with the one they became one with, and so on. God explains these counterfeit body and soul ties in 1 Corinthians 6:16 stating “Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her body? For it is said, ‘THE TWO WILL BECOME ONE FLESH.’”

Counterfeit Emotional Oneness develops when you give your emotions to someone beyond what is required for friendship. Anyone who has felt the deep, gut-wrenching pain of a breakup or experienced an unhealthy relationship can relate to this type of counterfeit oneness. He goes on to explain “Counterfeit Spiritual Oneness” where he mentioned that we are spiritual beings on a human journey. Spiritual intimacy is the first and deepest level of a relationship. Our wholeness in this area must be reserved for the mate God selects. “Has not the Lord made them one? In flesh and spirit they are his. And why one? Because he was seeking godly offspring. So guard yourself in your spirit, and do not break faith with the wife of your youth” (Malachi 2:15). He also makes it clear not every good choice is God’s choice, and seeking God’s will is the most important part of selecting your mate.

Another point that had me in deep thought was a question he asked which says “Does God want you to marry anyone ever? Or is his plan for you to remain single? Scripture teaches that marriage, like salvation, is an unmerited gift from God (Genesis 2:18) and scripture also tells us that singleness is God’s gift as well. Just like many of you, I long to be married and have a family of my own but if God calls me to a life of singleness, I will be fine with it because I am sure He will fill the void with something even better.

Being single is our time for self-improvement

Society makes being single a bad thing, as if there is something wrong with you. Next time someone asks you “Why are you single”? simply reply and say “being single is a time of self-improvement and evolving into your authentic self”. Marriage is not two halves but two whole people and the truth is that your time of singleness helps you discover exactly who you are and what you want out of a relationship.

It is a time to invest in yourself, your time, your ministries and to causes that would make a lasting difference for the kingdom of God. I am not saying not to date; all I am saying is to be careful who you allow into your life. Don’t just give someone an all access pass to you and your heart because you are priceless. I do not date out of selfish reasons like for a free meal, due to loneliness, for entertainment purposes or to feel wanted because I am well aware of how important it is to protect my heart. Although I have not had the best experience in dating or in men period, I still have faith that if it’s in God’s plan for my life he will pair me with the right man designed specifically for me.

Like the psalmist says, “Take heart”. Let your heart take courage and resist following your own schedule rather wait on his timing for God uses waiting to refresh, renew and to teach us. God calls his people to a higher standard than the standard of the world. Do not let your fear of failing to find a relationship make you take matters into your own hand, God is the ultimate match-maker. He always saves his best for those who are willing to wait for it!